Dreams, Risks, Spelling & Miracles

I watched Torrey in her third trip to the school spelling bee. She worked so hard, and I sat there with my stomach tied in knots watching her. I knew how nervous she was, and how hard she had worked. She did well, but didn't win. We talked about winning and about losing... about working hard and enjoying the journey. Life is like that, isn't it? Life is full of gains, loses and recoveries. A beautiful mess, and I love it.

“Aristotle said that the essence of drama is fear and pity.
Where do you feel more fear and pity than when you look at a kid in a spelling bee?”
-Rachel Sheinkin

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
-Mother Teresa

“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Photography has the capacity to provide images of man and
his environment that are both works of art and moments in history.”
-Cornell Capa

“Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story

which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.”
-C.S. Lewis

mom moments:

the good, the bad and the ones your kids will probably share with their therapist someday.

is there anything so perfectly imperfect than being a mom? it's a power position, a comedy routine, a pressure cooker, a joy... and everything in between. i often wonder which parts i'm getting right, and which parts i'll wish i'd done differently. but in God's great wisdom, he's only given us one shot at getting it. i think it's quoted well in one of my favorite books, "So I fumble along as best I can, now good, now bad, and I hope generally fair-to-middling."

it is very likely that my kids will grow up with some sort of camera/photo complex from having so many of the wee moments of their lives documented. i sometimes wonder how it will shape them later on... will they never pick up a camera or will they document each moment as obsessively? or better still, will they have some other sort of complex i have yet to think of. one never knows, i guess. so i continue documenting and journaling, making mistakes as i go. some good, some bad, and i hope generally fair-to-middling.

and as for school, today was a big day. torrey was in the school spelling bee. she did great, and i am (as always) so proud. she didn't win, but sometimes that's for the best. for a little soul who so desperately wants to make people proud and happy, riding the roller coaster of winning and losing is a hard ride. it is, though, one of those things that makes your heart that much more compassionate, that much stronger. in life we don't always get to win, even when we work hard. but that doesn't stop us from working hard, from trying hard things nor from cheering our friends on when we're on the sidelines. she did beautifully.

as i watched her console one of her friends, who missed a word, silently and sweetly, my heart was beaming. as far as this mama's concerned she makes me both proud and happy, even when she's not trying...  especially when she's not trying.

 

on the lighter side of school life, emma brought home a little paper on their study of 3D shapes and their real-life examples. of course, there was the glass for the cylinder, ice for the cubes, a ball for the sphere, a tent for the 3D triangle and a party hat for the cone... then well, there was the coffin for the rectangular prism. complete with dead guy with x's for eyes.

where do they get these things? i'm going with the magic tree house book she just finished reading, mummies in the morning. but then i wouldn't be surprised it it were some other funny bit that brought it to her mind at that moment. either way, there was a definite suppression of the giggles that were erupting deep inside. i love that girl!

and just for kicks, i'll finish out this post (that i've now written twice since blogger freaked out on me when i clicked publish post last time) with one more quote from the little prince that i love...

"All grown-ups were children once, although few of them remember it"

the art of spelling as it pertains to life

torrey was in the spelling bee today at school. she's been studying so hard for weeks. she's given up recess time, studied at home & in the car... she really wanted to do well. as far as i'm concerned, she did. she made it a few rounds, and got out on a word she knew, but couldn't go back after she said one of the letters wrong. rules are rules.

as a mom it was really hard to sit back and watch her miss-say her letter... see the look on her face & that she knew it was too late... and being done. you worry so much about your kids feeling like they're successful... but sometimes in life we don't always get the top spot, even when we try, even when we're smart, even when one little change may have meant that things would be different. and man, it took every fiber of my being today not to say, "man, that just isn't fair!" because it was. and even then life's not always fair. for all of the protecting that you want to do, sometimes just letting the disappointments come and go is a kind of protection. protection from turning 18 and getting thrown out to a sometimes very unfair world, and learning for the first time that sometimes things don't always go your way. this is proving to be one of those parental lessons that's harder for me than i thought it would be.

torrey handled it like a champ. not too hard on herself... disappointed, but able to live with it. to me that's worth a prize ribbon for the day. yea torrey!!!


and man-o-man! if spelling bee day wasn't exciting enough the girls also had afternoon of art at their school today. it's a day when bunches of local artists come to the school and teach classes on their particular art form. the kids get to request their top choices, then are assigned to one. emma got to do a pottery class and torrey got to do a quilting class, and i got to run back and forth and get pics of the two of them having a ball! they both came home with their projects & a new love for some new art forms.

and a big shout out of thanks to all of the local artists who volunteered their time today for this very cool day for the kids!

part way through emma's pottery class they took a break for recess... so i got to sneak in a few extra shots on the playground.